4 years. That's how long it took me to revisit this past of mine that was oh so innocent. Lots has transpired between now and then. Life has taken unexpected turns. Good things. Blessings in disguise. Heart-breaks. It is almost like I have evolved into a complete alien to my 4 year younger self. I have done things that I am not proud of. More than once I wished that I could just fade away into the unknown. I have caused extreme pain to some people and got some of that in return. I always thought I had my life figured out and it will follow my elaborate plan that was laid out. People have come and gone from my life so much so that now I don't even know who matters most. Maybe all the wear n tear has left just the selfish bitch in me alive. My fictitious deck of cards fort came crashing down on me quite unexpectedly and I was so taken by surprise that it transformed the me I knew so well to the alien me. And despite all of that, I still exist. New love. New life. Not sure this fits into my scheme of things. But without this I had nothing. Gambling with life probably is the new fun factor. Let the stronger me prevail. Isn't that all one can hope for?
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